Daughters of Sarah

Today is the third and final message in a brief series focused on God’s message to wives who represent Him in the home and in the world. Some of you are already getting antsy waiting for the message to the husbands. We’ll get to that next week, but for now, let’s finish studying God’s message to the wives.

As we continue looking at what it says, you need to remember that God’s principles for the home are timeless. They’re not rooted in the cultural; they’re rooted in the design set forth by God at creation.

Now, we live in a world that rejects God’s design, and we’re seeing more and more evidence of that every day. Living in a culture that opposes God means it will be more difficult to live in line with His design. But that opposition from the world also means that our lives can have a greater impact in the world, because the difference will be clearly visible.

And that is the overarching message behind what we’re studying. Christians live in a painful hostile world. There is the general pain of life which is a result of the curse, and then, on top of that, there is the painful hostility from an unbelieving world. So, how should we respond?

God says we respond by fighting against fleshly lusts and by letting our light shine before men. We need to live excellent, attractive, honorable lives so that the world sees a difference and glorifies God. That’s not always going to be easy, but it is going to be effective. That’s the context of the passage we’re looking at.

For citizens and resident, that attractive and effective life means humbly and respectfully submitting to the government. For the slaves of the first century, it meant humbly and respectfully submitting to their masters, even if they were harsh, unreasonable, and unjust. And for wives, the effective and attractive life God uses to work in others is a life of submission to their husbands.

Let’s look at our passage once again. We are in First Peter chapter 3, verses 1-6. First Peter 3:1-6.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

By now, I think most of you already know that main command in this passage is to submit. That was the main command for citizens and for slaves, and it’s what we see repeated here as well. Verse 1 says wives should be subject to their own husbands. That’s a call to submit. Then you see it again here in verse 5. A wife adorns herself by submitting to her own husband. That’s what makes her beautiful in the eyes of God.

I’ve said this before, but I think it’s important to understand. The Greek verb for submission is hupotásso, and it’s a combination of two words—hupo, which means “under” and tásso, which means “to arrange” or “to place in order.” The basic idea of submission is that you arrange yourself under the authority of another.

That doesn’t mean that the person submitting is less important or worth less than the one they submit to. What it means is that the person submitting recognizes God’s design for this world. There’s a structure. There’s an order.

Citizens and residents submit to their kings and to the other civil authorities. Slaves submit to masters. Employees submit to employers. Children submit to their parents. And wives submit to their husbands.

As I’ve continued to say, submission does not mean you don’t get to give input, or even offer a correction or a rebuke. What it does mean is that in all of this, there is an attitude of respect and humility. There’s a recognition of and a deference to the structure God has put in place.

Obviously, that structure of authority can be abused, and that’s a tragedy. Like I said, we’ll talk about the husband’s responsibility next week. But even when a husband isn’t faithful to his responsibility before God, that doesn’t mean we get to throw this principle out the window.

The abuse of a principle doesn’t justify the elimination of that principle. Did you get that? The abuse of a principle doesn’t justify the elimination of that principle.

Now, in a world like ours, the idea of submission comes across as oppressive. For the one who’s called to submit, culture says, it’s a demonstration of weakness and helplessness.

Maybe you’ve talked to someone who sees it like that. They might ask, “Why in the world would you submit to your husband? Do you think he’s better than you? Can’t you think for yourself?”

Some will argue that submission might have made sense a long time ago, when women didn’t have access to the same education or career opportunities as men, but all that’s changed now. There’s no need, in their opinion, to keep promoting a principle that no longer applies.

Well, that may be someone’s opinion, but that’s definitely not God’s opinion. That’s why submission is mentioned, not only here in First Peter, but also in Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3.

Wives are called to submit to their husbands because he is the head of the wife in a similar way to how Christ is the head of the church. And Paul repeats that principle in First Corinthians 11. First Timothy 2:12 and 13 root submission in the creative order. Adam was formed first, then Eve. Submission isn’t rooted in cultural preferences or cultural forces. It’s rooted in God’s desire to showcase His glory through Christ and His people.

Now, those are part of the theological arguments for submission. And it’s vital that you understand that. But theology also needs to be pressed into real life. It’s can’t stay in the abstract. It can’t just be theoretical. It needs to be applied. It needs to make a difference. It needs to produce a result either in action or in thought and emotions.

So, what we’re going to do today is look at submission one more time, but not just in terms of theology, but also in terms of emotion. Future wives and current wives, this is a passage aimed at you, so you need to be ready to fight for this in your own life from a theological perspective and from an emotional perspective, because many times, you’re not going to feel like demonstrating submission.

You also need to be ready to stir up one another to love and good works. That means you are able to help a sister who is struggling in this area. You want to be there to encourage and remind and support.

So, how you connect theology and your emotions? How do you help remind a fellow sister about why submission matters? How do you spur her on? Let me give you two answers to that question, and we’ll see them in verses 5 and 6. These are going to be two messages you need to preach to yourself and to one another over and over.

Number 1, tell yourself this: Submitting to my husband is an expression of holy confidence. It’s a holy confidence. This world wants you to think submission happens because you doubt yourself and because you’re weak. That’s not what God says. Not only is submission beautiful in God’s sight; it is confident. Submission comes from a confident heart.

Why do I say that? Look at verse 5 one more time—For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.

We’ve already talked about submission, and we talked about the adornment component of it last week, but notice how the women who demonstrate this quality are characterized.

First of all, these were holy women. They were holy women. You can’t rightfully call yourself a holy woman if you’ve got a heart that rejects your husband’s authority in the home. Those are contradictory. Maybe one of you here needs to hear that specifically. You can’t walk around thinking, “I’m a godly wife. I’m a righteous wife. I am a holy woman. But my husband is an idiot!” It doesn’t work like that. Holiness in the heart of a woman will show itself in a respectful and submissive heart.

Also, notice the second way these women are characterized. They are holy women, and they are women who hoped in God. You might want to mark that word—“hoped.” This is what I’m getting at with the word “confidence.”

Because these women hoped in God, they submitted to their husbands. How does that work? What’s the connection? Here’s the connection, they trust in God. They have such a strong confidence in God’s protection and provision, that they surrender to His plan for their lives. Do you get that? There’s a confidence.

What is it that tempts a woman NOT to submit to her husband? There is something she’s clinging to. “My husband doesn’t know what he’s doing. My husband is going to ruin our finances, ruin our reputations, ruin our house, ruin our car, ruin his chances for a promotion, ruin our kids, etc..” You name it. When a wife lack confidence in her husband, she’s gonna be tempted not to submit.

But here, the Holy Spirit is reminding you wives, that your submission isn’t connected to the confidence you have in your husband. It’s connected to the confidence you have in God. Is God greater than your husband? Is God more powerful than your husband? Of course He is! So, trust in the Lord, and submit to your husband.

And again, we’re talking about the general pattern of submission. If your husband is doing something illegal, you can show a submissive heart, and still alert the authorities if you need to. If your husband is a professing Christian demonstrating a pattern of scandalous, dangerous, unrepented sin, you can approach him with a submissive heart, but still bring that sin to his attention. And if he rejects that correction, you can bring along two or three, or eventually tell it to the church. But again, that’s is in the extreme cases.

The general pattern and the default position, wives, is that you submit to your husband, even if he is a man who, as Peter says in verse 2, is disobedient or unfaithful to the word of God.

How many of you know the story of Abigail from the Old Testament? David eventually took Abigail as his wife, but before that, she was married to a man named Nabal. First Samuel 25:3 says Abigail was wise and beautiful, but Nabal was harsh and evil. He was a fool.

You can read the story for yourself, but the short version is his stupidity almost cost him the lives of his entire household because he greedily refused to show kindness to David and his men. But Abigail decided to humble herself and intercede for her foolish husband. She did that because she trusted in God’s plan. She knew David was God’s chosen king. Her confidence in God’s plan is what led her to act how she did.

And just to give you the ending, her husband ended up dying, and she was married to David. That’s how God rewarded her.

Well, ladies, God has an even better reward for you than a new husband. He has an eternal inheritance waiting for you. He has a spot reserved for you in the new heavens and the new earth. And until the day you see Jesus, He’s watching over you.

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and everything you need will be provided for you. You need that kind of confidence to submit to your husband.

This world will tell you that submitting to your husband is a sign of weakness, that you doubt yourself for giving in to him. This world will tell you that a truly confident woman isn’t going to let a man tell her what to do. But God says to you, ladies, that submitting to your husband is an expression of holy confidence. A woman who trusts in God, who has placed her hope in Him, is empowered to submit to her husband. She has that kind of confidence.

Look back with me at chapter 1 of First Peter, verse 13. This is a general principle for all of us, but it’s so appropriate in this discussion. First Peter, chapter 1, verse 13—Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

How do you prepare for action? By setting your hope fully on the grace that Christ will bring to you. Ladies, your hope in God is made visible when you submit to your husband. He is your Redeemer. He is the perfect Bridegroom who loves you and sustains you. He is your confidence. Submission is an expression of confidence, not weakness. Preach that message to yourself.

And just to give you one more example, remember what it says in First Peter 2:23 when it talks about Christ’s submission. It says He “continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”

That’s what you want to do, ladies. Put your confidence and God and surrender your life to Him in holy submission.

Let’s move on now to the second message you need to remind yourself of.  Again, we’re talking about how to fight for submission theologically and also emotionally. Number 1, wives, tell yourself, “Submission to my husband is an expression of holy confidence.” Here’s message number 2: Submission to my husband is an expression of humble courage. Humble courage.

Peter talks about the beauty of submitting to your husband, and then he gives one specific example. He mentions Sarah, Abraham’s wife.

Let’s read verse 6—as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Now, if you had to give an example of a faithful woman, maybe you’d think of Esther or Abigail like I mentioned earlier, but Peter chooses Sarah. Why?

One reason for that choice could be because of all that she had to endure being Abraham’s wife. And maybe we don’t think about that very often. Being married to Abraham would not have been an easy thing.

Abraham’s ancestors were pagan. Joshua 24:2 says they serves other gods. They lived in what is called Ur of the Chaldean, which would be today in southern Iraq.

Well, one day, Terah, Abraham’s father decides to move the family to Haran, which is between six and seven hundred miles northwest, close to what today is the border between Turkey and Syria.

Now, packing up your things and moving itself is difficult, but having to do so because your father-in-law says so, that’s gotta be tough. But there goes Sarah, faithful to her husband.

Well, eventually Terah dies, and maybe Sarah is thinking, “Okay, no more moving.” But that wasn’t the end. God appears to Abraham and says, “Abraham, you’re moving again. Leave your family, leave your pagan gods, and go to Canaan.”

Canaan would have been another four to five hundred miles. This time they have to travel south. Now, just to give you some context, Abraham was 75 years old when he left Haran for Canaan. Sara is 65 years old. At 65 years old, none us want to be moving, if we can help it, right? We want to stay right where we are.

But all of a sudden, Sarah has to go to a whole other land because some new, unknown God had “supposedly” told her husband to do it. That would have been an act of great faith and great submission.

Also remember, that Sarah was barren. She couldn’t have kids. So she could have turned this into a little pity party and refused to go, but she didn’t. She submitted to her husband. Some wives today won’t even move with their husband to Riverside let alone another country, but Sarah goes.

Now, eventually, Genesis 12 tells us there was a famine in the land of Canaan, so Abraham went to live in Egypt. Again, more moving.

Eventually, the family leaves Egypt and goes back to Canaan. But as the family grows, they realize that the land can’t sustain all of it. And instead of choosing the best-looking land, Abraham allows his nephew to pick which part of the land he wants. Think about how Sarah might have felt about all this?! “Abraham, what are you doing?! Don’t give Lot the good land! He’s younger than you. He can work harder!” But there’s no record of that. She just went along with her husband.

Later, Abraham’s nephew Lot gets captured, and Abraham decides to risk his life and his men’s to rescue them. Again, Sarah says nothing.

And when one of the kings wants to reward Abraham, he turns down the reward! Again, no record that Sarah objected. What a life it must have been for her!

In Genesis 17, God gives Abraham the covenant of circumcision. Imagine being 99 years old and bringing that message home to your wife! “God wants you to do WHAT?!”

In Genesis 18, God visits Abraham again, and this time it’s three men. And Abraham runs into the tent and says, “Sarah, make some bread for these guys.” And she does it.

And then, she gets what might be the shock of a lifetime. The Lord says to Abraham, “Your wife, Sarah, is going to have a baby of her own.” Her reaction wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t run out on God’s plan. She stayed there serving her God and her husband.

That’s impressive, isn’t it? So many highs and lows, but she stayed there. And as you look back on what Peter writes, notice how he summarizes Sarah’s posture toward her husband. She was calling him lord. That’s not “Lord” in the sense of divinity; it’s “lord” in the sense of respect and authority.

A lot of you know who Ethel Mertz is, I imagine. She used to call her husband a “fat old goat,” and maybe that’s closer to what some wives call their husbands today, but not Sarah. She was calling him “lord.” Sher served him.

That’s the example you want to follow ladies. Don’t follow the examples you might see in some sitcom. Don’t follow the advice or the example of your unbelieving friends and neighbors who gossip about their husbands or openly rebel. You honor Christ.

Do that, and you will be known, Peter says, as a daughter of Sarah. That could be a simple reference to imitating her, but it could also be a reference to salvation.

Those who have trusted in Christ are called the children of Abraham. So, it’s possible here that Peter is saying that your submission is another evidence that you belong to Sarah and to Abraham, meaning you belong to Christ. A heart that refuses to submit and refuses to humble itself is not a heart that belongs to Christ.

Now, the phrase I gave you to connect to submission was a humble courage. A humble courage. We got the “humble” part from Sarah’s example of service, but now, let’s finish up by looking at this final phrase in verse 6.

You are a daughter of Sarah if you “do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

That’s the part about courage. This world will tell you, girls, that submission is the cowardly response, but God says it’s the courageous response. A non-submissive wife is scared. She’s scared about her money. She scared about her security. She’s scared about her financial status. She’s scared about her reputation. She’s scared about what people are going to say about her. Maybe she’s even scared about how her husband might react.

The Apostle Peter says put your confidence in God and be courageous. Don’t be scared of anything. Make the decision that honors God and submit to your husband.

Let me read an extended quote from John Piper on this passage, and we’ll close with that. He writes this: “The daughters of Sarah fight the anxiety that rises in their hearts. They wage war on fear, and they defeat it with the promises of God. Mature Christian women know that following Christ will mean suffering. But they believe promises like 1 Peter 3:14, ‘But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,’ and 1 Peter 4:19, “Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.’ That is what Christian women do: They entrust their souls to a faithful Creator. They hope in God. And they triumph over fear.”

We need more confident women in our church. And we need more courageous women. That confidence and that courage will be demonstrated through a visible submission to their husbands which God will use for His glory.