Job's Friends Lack Understanding

Last week, we began to look at the book of Job, which is a very challenging book for a number of reasons. It’s challenging because it’s unfamiliar. It’s challenging because it’s long. It’s challenging mentally, or theologically, as we try to understand what’s going on and what’s being said. And it’s also challenging emotionally. It deals with difficult themes that we generally try to avoid. This is not an easy book to work through, but it’s a book God has given us to help us as we serve Him.

Chapters 1 and 2, which we looked at last time, told us about Job’s tremendous loss. He lost his riches and his 10 children all in the same day. God allowed Satan to afflict Job in order to prove that Job’s faith was genuine rather than simply tied to God’s external blessings. And then God allowed Satan to strike Job with sores all over his body. It was agony, and Job had no answers.

Again, all of that was the introduction to the book. The main portion of the book deals with Job’s theological and mental quest to make sense of what’s happened. Up to now, Job’s response to his suffering has only included humble praise and a rebuke of his wife’s foolishness. He said, “Blessed be the name of Yahweh… Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?

With that righteous response, three new characters enter the story. Look with me at Job chapter 2, verse 11.

Job 2:11—Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.

This is one of the primary themes of the book. Job desperately wants relief. He wants to be comforted. He sat in the trash heap, scraping his skin with broken pieces of pottery, looking for relief. And now his friends have planned to meet him and help him.

Verse 12—And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. [13] And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.

Some of you here have experienced being with someone else who is in a severe trial. You want to help, but you don’t know what to say. What can you say?

For one week, these men sit with Job as his companions, and they do what Romans 12 says to do—weep with those who weep. Job’s friends come to mourn along with him in silence. This sets the stage for the main part of the book, which is a poetic dialogue.

My goal is not to go in depth into everything these men are going to say. I am going to give you my own summary of what they’re saying, and that might lead you, or help you, to read it more carefully on your own, if you want to do that. And you can even write out your own summary if you like.

The debate, or the discussion, between Job and his friends is divided into three cycles. After one of Job’s friends speaks, Job responds. Today, I’m going to give an overview of the first cycle and then close with some practical principles.

If you grabbed a bulletin today, you should have also received a handout with a summary of the first cycle of debate, and that will let you follow along without have to write down my summary. It’s already written there for you.

The discussion starts with Job speaking in chapter 3. One week goes by, and now Job speak up. Here’s my summary of what he says in chapter 3, and you can see it in the notes. Job says: “Cursed be the day I was born. I wish I had never come into this world. Death is better than my life. Why did God give me life?”

Some might say that Job is suicidal, but I don’t think that’s a fair statement, at least not if you’re using that word the way people use it today. Job is not planning to kill himself. He is expressing his pain and grief. Moses, Elijah, Jonah and Jeremiah make similar statements in the Bible. It doesn’t mean they want to personally kill themselves; but it is a recognition that death appears to be only relief they can think of.

Some of you might have heard the line, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” That was published by an English poet in 1850 after his close friend died suddenly. But that is the opposite of Job’s sentiment here. Job is saying, “It’s better to never have lived than to live with this pain.” The pain is too much for him.

Look with me at the opening verses of Job 3. Let yourself feel his pain. Verse 1—After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. And Job said: “Let the day perish on which I was born, and the night that said, ‘A man is conceived.’”

Jump down to verse 11. He says—“Why did I not die at birth, come out from the womb and expire?”

And verse 20—Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter in soul, who long for death, but it comes not, and dig for it more than for hidden treasures, who rejoice exceedingly and are glad when they find the grave?

And verse 25—For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest, but trouble comes.

Some of you can’t relate to that, but know that there are those among us who do. There are those among us who have passed through, or are currently in, a season like that.

What do they need in a time like that? They need a friend who like Job’s friends did at first will sit in silence with them. What they don’t need is a friend like we’re about to see.

The next speaker is Eliphaz. He speaks in chapters 4-5, and this is my summary of his message. It’s written in the notes—Job, you helped others who suffered, but now it’s your turn to suffer. Those who do good will be spared. Those who sin will be punished by God. God is disciplining you. Trust in Him and He will restore you.

Here is what’s tricky about what Eliphaz says: some of what he says is true. We find similar statements in the Psalms or the Proverbs. But Eliphaz isn’t applying that truth in the correct way or at the correct time. Eliphaz is suggesting or implying that the reason Job is suffering is because there is some unconfessed sin in Job’s life that he has not repented of.

We know from the rest of the Bible that God can and will use pain to discipline His people for sin. But simply because that possibility exists doesn’t mean that everyone who is suffering has some secret, unconfessed sin in their life.

We know from the beginning of the story that Job is a blameless man. We know that it was actually Job’s righteousness that made him a target for Satan, not his sin that brought God’s discipline.

But Eliphaz wants to give a neat, tidy little answer. He wants to guess at what God is doing. Look at chapter 4, verse 17. It says this—Can mortal man be in the right before God? Can a man be pure before his Maker? It seems that’s a message Eliphaz heard in a dream. And he took it as an indication that Job is in sin. According to Eliphaz, suffering was inevitable in Job’s case because of his great unnamed sin.

Down in chapter 5, verse 6, he says—For affliction does not come from the dust, nor does trouble sprout from the ground, [7] but man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward. [8] As for me, I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, [9] who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number: [10] he gives rain on the earth and sends waters on the fields; [11] he sets on high those who are lowly, and those who mourn are lifted to safety.

Again, there’s some truth in what he’s saying, but he’s not applying it the right way. He’s implying something that isn’t true.

As a simple analogy, it would be like you coming to me and telling me you were in a car accident and your 3-year-old car was totaled when someone rear-ended you. And then I say to you, “You know, if you take good care of your car, it should last you 15 years.” My statement is generally true, but I’m not using it right. I’m making a bad implication. I’m saying the accident was your fault. Do you see how hurtful and wrong that would be?

Look at verse 17 of chapter 5. Eliphaz continues—Behold, blessed is the one whom God reproves; therefore despise not the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he binds up; he shatters, but his hands heal.

Eliphaz is trying to help, but he is completely wrong about what’s happening. He is speaking from ignorance. And so, now Job responds in chapters 6 and 7. My summary of that is in the notes.

Job basically says: My complaint is just. This pain is too much for me; I would rather die. There is no friend on my side. How have I sinned? My life has no hope. If you speak for God, then forgive me of my sin.

Job continues to lament in sorrow but he also expresses his innocence. Look at chapter 6, verse 8—Oh that I might have my request, and that God would fulfill my hope, [9] that it would please God to crush me, that he would let loose his hand and cut me off! [10] This would be my comfort; I would even exult in pain unsparing, for I have not denied the words of the Holy One.

There’s an irony in that statement. Job’s friends came intending to comfort him. But once they start trying to explain his situation and how to fix it, Job says, “Look, the only comfort I’ll get is if I die.”

Skip down to verse 24. Job says to Eliphaz—Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray. How forceful are upright words! But what does reproof from you reprove? Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind?

It's like Job is saying, “I’m dying here! I’m pouring out my heart, and you want to correct my grammar!” This is not a helpful response to man who is longing for death.

In chapter 7, Job says that sleep isn’t even a comfort for him because he’s having nightmares. There is no relief for him anywhere. He wants to die.

Well, coming to chapter 8, the next man speaks. His name is Bildad. You can see my summary in your notes.

Here is Bildad’s message: Job, you don’t know what you are saying. Your children deserved to die. If you are righteous, God will restore you. Put your hope in God.

What a friend this is! Look at chapter 8, verse 1—Then Bildad the Shuhite answered and said: “How long will you say these things, and the words of your mouth be a great wind? Does God pervert justice? Or does the Almighty pervert the right? If your children have sinned against him, he has delivered them into the hand of their transgression.

Can God take a person’s life away because of sin? Yes, He can. He did it to Ananias and Sapphira. He did it to some in the Corinthian church. But there’s no clear evidence here that Job’s children were rebellious. So why even hint at that? Again, some of the statements might be true generally, but the implication is wrong.

Look at verse 13. Speaking of suffering, Bildad says—Such are the paths of all who forget God; the hope of the godless shall perish.

Well, Job responds to this message as well in chapters 9 and 10. The summary in your notes says it like this—How can any man be righteous before God? All I can do is beg for mercy. I am imperfect. There is no mediator between us. God, why are you doing this?

Job wants answers, and his friends aren’t giving it to him. So, Job is going to God. “Why is this happening? Explain it to me, O God!” Job recognizes God’s sovereignty. Even if there’s no sin that God is disciplining, Job recognizes that he is imperfect. He knows God is greater than him.

Look at chapter 9, verse 20—Though I am in the right, my own mouth would condemn me; though I am blameless, he would prove me perverse. I am blameless; I regard not myself; I loathe my life. It is all one; therefore I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’

Speaking of God’s infinite authority and glory, here’s what Job says in verse 32. Job 9:32—For he is not a man, as I am, that I might answer him, that we should come to trial together. [33] There is no arbiter between us, who might lay his hand on us both.

That theme continues into chapter 10. God has done this, but why? Why has God humbled me this way? If I deserve this, fine? But what have I done?

Well, with that, we come to chapter 11, which are the words of Zophar, Job’s third friend. He’s the harshest of the three—the most direct, which also makes him the most wrong and the most unhelpful.

Here's my summary—Job, God should have given you worse. Fix your life, and God will help you.

What an arrogant statement to make, isn’t it? This is salt in the wound. Look at the first six verses.

Job 11:1-6—Then Zophar the Naamathite answered and said: [2] “Should a multitude of words go unanswered, and a man full of talk be judged right? [3] Should your babble silence men, and when you mock, shall no one shame you? [4] For you say, ‘My doctrine is pure, and I am clean in God's eyes.’ [5] But oh, that God would speak and open his lips to you, [6] and that he would tell you the secrets of wisdom! For he is manifold in understanding. Know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves.

What can Job say to this? Imagine how much more hurt he is now. This first cycle of debates ends with three chapters of Job responding, and he is not happy, to put it lightly. You can hear the sarcasm in his opening words.

Job 12:1-4—Then Job answered and said: “No doubt you are the people, and wisdom will die with you. But I have understanding as well as you; I am not inferior to you. Who does not know such things as these? I am a laughingstock to my friends; I, who called to God and he answered me, a just and blameless man, am a laughingstock.

This is like Job saying, “Tell me something I don’t know. You don’t have any special wisdom or insight here. You have no explanation for why I am suffering. Stop pretending like you’re some kind of special advisors. You know nothing.”

Here's what I wrote in my summary for Job’s final response—You foolish men! My circumstances are not an indication of my sin. God has brought this about. You are all liars. I will hope in Him to give me answers. Let me die in peace.

Job refuses to accept the fact that this was some kind of discipline on his life, but he also refuses to accept any idea that God had nothing to do with it. Job’s final response is one that praises the sovereignty of God and calls out the foolishness of his companions.

Look at chapter 13, verses 1-5—Behold, my eye has seen all this, my ear has heard and understood it. What you know, I also know; I am not inferior to you. But I would speak to the Almighty, and I desire to argue my case with God. As for you, you whitewash with lies; worthless physicians are you all. Oh that you would keep silent, and it would be your wisdom!

Do you want to prove how smart and wise you are? Then just sit there and be quiet!—That’s what Job is saying here. He will not trust in his friends, but he will trust in God.

Look a verse 12—Your maxims are proverbs of ashes; your defenses are defenses of clay. Let me have silence, and I will speak, and let come on me what may. Why should I take my flesh in my teeth and put my life in my hand? Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.

Job expects to be vindicated by God. He will be proven right and righteous one day. His life, right now, is agony. He would rather die and be done with it. But he trusts in God to make things right. Job is saying, “You may not be on my side, but God is. And that’s what matters.” That’s the end of the first cycle of this discussion.

We did more of an overview than a deep study, but I trust God will use it. And maybe in your own personal study, or in your FLGs you can talk more about it.

But what can we take away from what we’ve seen today? Like I said, this is a challenging book, so application is not always going to be straightforward. But for now, since Job’s discussion was mainly an unfruitful and unhelpful discussion, I thought I’d share some negative lessons. I think we see some pitfalls or mistakes when it comes to suffering.

Let me go through these pretty quickly, and then we’ll close in prayer. Again, these will all be negative commands, things you shouldn’t do when you encounter suffering, either in your own life, or in the life of someone else. I have five lessons.

Lesson number 1, don’t feel obligated to say something. Don’t feel obligated to say something. In times of severe suffering, usually your presence is enough. This is what Job’s friends didn’t understand. They felt compelled to speak up. I feel the same thing many times, and I can end up saying something I regret. Sometimes, it’s okay to say nothing.

Lesson number 2, don’t assume people’s expressions of their emotions are theological declarations. Don’t assume that a person’s expression of his feelings are theological declarations. In the psalms, David says things like, “God has abandoned me.” Did he really believe that theologically? No, otherwise he wouldn’t be praying. But he is expressing his emotions. He feels like God had abandoned him. And it’s not wrong to express that.

Job says he feels like dying. That doesn’t mean he’s contemplating suicide. And when he lays the responsibility on God, he isn’t saying God was unjust. A good listener—and I’m terrible at this—a good listener is concerned with intent more than with what is specifically being said.

Lesson number 3, don’t rely on personal, subjective experience for answers. Don’t rely on personal, subjective experience for answers. This is what Job’s friends did that was wrong. They were sharing what they thought was happening. It’s like they were saying, “Job, here’s what it seems to me like God is doing right now.” That’s a very dangerous statement to make sometimes. And it’s arrogant too. We can talk about possibilities. We can talk about how we should respond. But to try and guess at the mind of our eternal God about something which He has not specifically told us about, and worse, to pass it along as if it were true, is dangerous and hurtful. Don’t do that. Don’t guess at what God might be specifically doing in someone else’s life.

Lesson number 4, don’t assume God is trying to teach you a lesson. This is a pretty common one. Someone is going through suffering, and they might think something like, “I’m not sure what God is trying to teach me. But I want to figure it out real soon, so this problem can go away.” That’s not how this works. Was Job every going to be able to guess what was really going on? No. How could he have known?

Job was a righteous man. He was certain this wasn’t some kind of discipline upon his life. So, what he needed to be most concerned about what honoring God in the way he responded, not trying to figure out all that God is doing. Again, we will not have all the answers.

Lastly, lesson number 5, don’t allow suffering to make you believe you are detached from God. Don’t allow suffering to lead you to believe God has abandoned you. A lot of people feel like that. God must be mad at me. God must now want to bless me right now. And they see difficulty as evidence of that.

Jesus said to His disciples, “I will be with you to the end of the age.” He also said to them, “You are going to be put to death for my name’s sake.” Suffering does not mean that God is far from you. In fact, it might be in those most severe moments that you realize how near God is.

Job is beginning to feel detached from God. He expresses how unapproachable God seemed. There is no mediator between us! But may we never say the same thing, right? We have a perfect advocate with the Father. We have a perfect High Priest in our Lord Jesus Christ.

If you feel or are distant from God, you don’t need religious ritual to fix that. You don’t need the virgin Mary. You need Jesus Christ, who tore the veil in the Holy of Holy. We need the only One who is fully and truly God and fully and truly man. You need a perfect intercessor who died for sin, was raised in glory, and who now intercedes for His people. Draw near to God in Jesus Christ who suffered for His people.

And if you want to know more about that, please come talk to me or any other member. Suffering is an invitation to draw near to God, not a message that God has abandoned you.

Pain in this life is not an indication that God is against you. If you are in Jesus Christ, God is for you, and nothing against you will triumph in the end.