Mistakes in Comforting Sufferers

Life, like a roller coaster, has its ups and downs. We aren’t always prepared for their coming, but we need to know that they will. There can be moments, days, and seasons of silent peace or joyful prosperity, but there will also be moments, days, and seasons of intense pain.

Today, we have the joy of gathering at the park for a picnic marking the transition from summer to fall, but that joy is tempered, either by the pains you may be experiencing in your own life, or, at a minimum, by the fact that we are still studying the book of Job, which deals directly with human suffering.

Job lost everything he had in one day. He lost all his wealth. He lost his children. He lost his physical health. And he lost the support of his wife. That’s what took place in chapters 1 and 2.

The bulk of the book, however, is an extended discussion, or debate, with three so-called friends who had initially come to give him comfort.

As I was thinking about the book of Job this week, my mind went to a book I was supposed to have read in high school called The Old Man and the Sea. It was written by American author Ernest Hemingway and published in 1952.

I said “I was supposed to have read” the book because I didn’t read books in high school; I would just search on the internet for summaries. As a teenager, I didn’t like reading, in general, and, to me, The Old Man and the Sea was exceptionally boring.

The story is about an old man in Cuba fighting to catch a marlin which is pulling his little out to sea. I came to find out later that what I interpreted as a boring story with no action advancing the plot, was actually the author’s way of making the readers feel the seemingly endless agony of the old man. This was not a battle that was going to end quickly.

And that is what we are seeing in the book of Job. The dialogue we are looking at isn’t really advancing anything. Even if it’s not a literal screaming match, it is an ideological battle.

As we go through our study today, I want to point out to you some dangers and temptations we all face in difficult times—dangers and temptations that can be more prevalent in periods of intense suffering.

The first danger is expecting simple answers. Expecting simple answers.

This part of how this world operates in medicine, and in politics, and in finances. People take very complicated problems, and they come at you as if they can fix things very simply and easily.

Job’s story teaches us and reminds us, however, that as desperately as we may long for relief in intensely difficult times, there are no easy answers.

Lord willing, we will make it to the end of Job’s story, but before we get there, we need to wade through, and, to some degree, be worn down, by, the discussion between Job and his friends. For Job, and for us, there will be no easy answers for suffering. So, resist the temptation to find them, or to offer them. Instead, embrace the reality that the lessons that take the most work to learn will often have the most lasting results. Keep that in mind. The lessons you have to work the hardest for will last the longest in yourlife.

As we come to the third and final cycle of debate, one of Job’s friends has dropped out of the discussion, but the two remaining are saying the same thing they’ve said since the beginning: “Job, you have some unconfessed sin in your life.” From the beginning, however, Job has maintained his righteousness, and it is a righteousness that God Himself has affirmed.

Just like we’ve done in our last two studies, there is a page of notes in your bulletin today which includes my summary of each message. We are going to work through those four sections as we continue talking about dangers and temptations in times of suffering.

In this final cycle, Eliphaz and Bildad will both speak, and each of their speeches will be followed by a response from Job. At this stage in the discussion, we find that the debate has turned, even more so, into an exchange of accusations. Emotions have ramped up, and each side is more critical of the other and even sarcastic.

Here is what I’ve put in my summary for Eliphaz final message from Job 22. He says: Job, what good is the righteousness you claim? Your wickedness is great. That’s why God is punishing you. You can’t hide from Him. Evil men throughout history have been judged by God. Stop trusting in your riches. Get right with God and He will bless you.

To give you a flavor of Eliphaz’ message look at chapter 22, verse 5. It’s a rhetorical question, but it’s also a direct attack. Job 22:5-7—Is not your evil abundant? There is no end to your iniquities. For you have exacted pledges of your brothers for nothing and stripped the naked of their clothing. You have given no water to the weary to drink, and you have withheld bread from the hungry.

He’s saying, “Job, I know you were rich, but rather than use your riches to bless and help others, you hurt those around you.”

This is a baseless accusation. There is zero evidence for this, but that is Eliphaz’ conclusion. And it leads us to a second danger and temptation in suffering.

First, there is the temptation of expecting simple answers, or easy answers. Second, we have the temptation of hurling harsh accusations. Hurling harsh accusations.

If you remember back to the end of chapter 2, Job’s friends came together to bring Job comfort. That was their initial intent. And evidently his desire to ease Job’s sufferings led him to find someone to blame. He doesn’t want to blame God for being unrighteous, and the only other person left to blame is Job. “Job,” Eliphaz says, “this is all your fault.”

So now, he’s not so concerned with giving comfort. He is more concerned with fixing the situation. He is foolishly assuming he has the wisdom and the power to fix something that is way beyond his control.

Have you ever found yourself doing the same thing? Your friend doesn’t do so well on a test, or he gets fired from a job, and rather than immediately respond with sympathy and compassion, we say, “Well, how much time did you study? What did you do wrong?” And that is basically to say, “You deserve what happened to you.” We may not say that out loud. We may not even intend to communicate that, but that’s the message it sends. And it pushes the person toward feeling guilty.

Or we might accuse the teacher or the boss of something wrong, and that simply stirs up anger and indignation. In either case, blaming someone shouldn’t be the starting point in times of intense suffering. There will be a time to assess hearts and to cry out to God for justice, but the initial reaction should simply be to grieve and to weep with those who weep. Finding someone to accuse is simply an expression of looking for easy answers or a simple explanation.

Now, Eliphaz’ accusation also shows us a third danger or temptation, and that is the danger of jumping to false conclusions. Jumping to false conclusions.

Prior to Job’s suffering, Job’s riches would have been a testimony to his righteousness and integrity. “Job,” Eliphaz would have said, “you’re a good man. God is clearly blessing you.” But now, he is saying that Job’s riches were evidence that he was hurting others and stealing from them.

What changed? Eliphaz has allowed a false, predetermined conclusion to control the way he views the facts, or the evidence, if you will.

This happens all the time in politics. People have decided which is the good side and which is the bad side, and that prevents them from seeing things objectively. Everything becomes evidence of their preconceived ideas. That’s how conspiracy theories work, you can’t prove them wrong to someone who has adopted them.

Well, in a different way, and maybe even more significantly, we do the same thing with people. We paint other people as good guys and bad guys. We do that with our spouses and with our kids and with our coworkers. And that label becomes a lens that colors everything they do.

If a friend at work pays for lunch, we think, “Wow! They are so nice. What a kind gesture!” But if someone we don’t like pay for lunch, we might think, “Oh, they’re so manipulative! I wonder what kind of favor they’re going to want in return.” You might be right or you might be wrong, but your underlying assumptions have painted the way you see things, and it won’t be easy to convince you to change your mind.

Well, based on Eliphaz’ false conclusions, he has an easy answer to this whole problem.

Job simply need to recognize his sin and repent. Then everything will be fixed. This is Eliphaz’ final advice for Job. Look at verses 21-23—Agree with God, and be at peace; thereby good will come to you. Receive instruction from his mouth, and lay up his words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty you will be built up; if you remove injustice far from your tents.

“Repent, Job, and God will bless you again. It’s so simple.” Eliphaz, to his credit, trusts in the forgiveness and restoration of God, but has no room in his mind for a God who would allow a righteous man to suffer so greatly. So, his only conclusion is to assume Job must have been very wicked.

Job’s response to this, just like before, express four ideas. One—He is in pain. Two—He is righteous. Three—He is trusting in God. And four—His friends are wrong.

Here’s how I’ve summarized Job’s response to Eliphaz in chapters 23 and 24—I am in agony. If only I could speak with God! He would listen to me and respond. God seems so distant, but He knows I am a righteous man. God is holy and has brought this upon me. In this world, the wicked may prosper and the righteous may suffer. Can you prove me wrong?

Job is holding up a tension between two doctrines. One, is the doctrine of God’s omniscience and omnipotence. God is all-knowing and all-powerful. God knows Job is a sinner before Him, and He has the authority to judge Him eternally. But the second doctrine is God’s mercy and compassion. Job knows that God will uphold him. There’s a fear, but there is also a trust and a hope.

There are things about God that Job can’t answer, but there are some things He is completely confident about. And you can read Job’s response for yourself in chapters 23 and 24 if you want to see how he expresses that tension.

And then Job ends by proving that there are holes in Eliphaz argument that, in tis life, sinners will always be punished, and the righteous will always be blessed.

In response to Job, Bildad steps in with a brief, final message. And in his message, he demonstrates one final danger for today.

There is the danger of expecting simple answers. There is the danger of hurling harsh accusations. There is the danger of jumping to false conclusions. And finally, we see the danger and the temptation of distorting biblical truth. Distorting biblical truth.

Job had two doctrinal positions that he held in tension. They might appear to contradict each other, but Job affirmed both of them, even if he didn’t know how they fit together.

Bildad doesn’t do that. Bildad agrees that God is holy. But he exaggerates God’s holiness to such a degree that he will not allow Job to say he is righteous. It’s like Bildad is erasing God’s compassion.

Here’s my summary of Bildad’s message in chapter 25—God is holy and powerful. No man can be righteous before Him.

That is a true theological statement, isn’t it? None of us can be righteous before God. Bildad doesn’t deny or ignore that truth, but he extends it to make conclusions that are no longer biblical. Bildad’s argument is that since God is holy, all men are sinners. And since all men are sinners, all of us, including Job cannot expect God’s blessing.

In verse 6, Bildad says that men are maggots and worms before a holy God. Again, that is true in terms of glory and morality, but it ignores the compassion and mercy of God.

In and of ourselves, we are enemies of God. We hate God, that’s what the New Testament teaches. We turn from light and live in darkness. We are slaves of Satan. But God delights in, and is glorified in, His mercy. This is why Jesus came to the earth—to reconcile sinner to Himself.

Jesus bore the wrath of God. Jesus made propitiation. He satisfied the righteous demands, not just of the Law, but of God’s character. And if anyone turns from sin and calls out to Jesus in genuine, humble faith—believing that the Son of God died and was raised again and will come again in glory—that man, that woman, that child will be saved eternally. He or she will be made a child of God. This is the God of the Bible—a God who is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love.

Bildad didn’t get this. Many people in the world don’t get this. They want God either to be holy and harsh, or they want Him to ignore sin and not expect us to obey. And that leads to legalism or to lawlessness. It’s a distortion of biblical truth. It’s the exalting of one truth to the exclusion of another.

Don’t make that same mistake in times of suffering. If you belong to Christ, God is your heavenly Father. Yes, He is completely in charge. Yes, He knows you’re a sinner. But also remember that He has a good plan for everything that He does, even if we can’t see it right now. Remember that God is for you, not against you.

With that, let’s wrap up our time by looking at Job’s response, which is in chapters 26 and 27. Here is my summary from the notes page. Job says to his friends—Your supposed wisdom has been no help! God’s majesty is unsearchable. Who can understand the way He works? You are wrong! I have been righteous. My enemies be judged just like the wicked who will suffer in the end.

Job has had enough of the lies of these men. I think he’s being sarcastic in his opening words. Chapter 26, verses 2-3 say—How you have helped him who has no power! How you have saved the arm that has no strength! How you have counseled him who has no wisdom, and plentifully declared sound knowledge!

He's taunting Bildad. “God’s knowledge is so far beyond our own, but I’m sure you’ve got it all figured out, right Bildad?” And then, in chapter 27, he proclaims his integrity and calls on God to judge his enemies. But in this case, who is Job’s enemy? I think it’s a veiled reference to his three friends. Just like God will punish the wicked, Job wants God to punish these foolish counselors.

We will see later, that although God affirms Job’s righteousness, it doesn’t mean that Job’s heart or perception is perfect. But by the grace of God, his faith remains. His faith endures, even as he continues longing for relief and comfort.

May God do the same for us. May He uphold our faith, like He’s promised to do. And may he use our fellow brothers and sisters to warn us and keep us from the dangers and the temptations that suffering brings.